أحد المزارعين ذهب الى الصيدلية لكي يشتري دواء للبقرة والى زوجتة وقد اعطاه الصيدلي اول وصفة والثانية وقال له هذا للبقرة وهذا لزوجتك فقال المزارع بخوف من فضلك تأكد من الدواء لانني اخاف أن تموت البقرة
تنين صراصير نايمين فى المستشفى واحد منهم سأل التانى بيف باف قالو لا شبشب
ما هو اعراب صرصور ؟؟ مرفوع بالجدار و مظروب بالنعال
اثنين خرجو من الامتحان واحد بيقول للثانى : عملت ايه فى الامتحان قاله : اسكت سبت الورقه فاضيه قاله : الله يخرب بيتك ها يفتكرونا غاشين من بعض
محشش اتصل على الخطوط الجويه وقال:كم تستغرق رحلة بيروت_بانكوك؟.....قال الموظف لحظه...قال شكراً
29.1.10
10 ways to annoy people...
1- Name your dog "DOG"!!!!
2-Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
3-Wear your pants backwards.
4-Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
5-Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
6-ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
only type in lowercase.
dont use any punctuation either...
7-Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
8-Wear a LOT of cologne.
9-Make appointments for the 31st offebruary :P
10-Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
P.S: Don't use any of them because you will be eliminated from your society!!! :P
2-Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
3-Wear your pants backwards.
4-Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
5-Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
6-ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
only type in lowercase.
dont use any punctuation either...
7-Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
8-Wear a LOT of cologne.
9-Make appointments for the 31st offebruary :P
10-Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
P.S: Don't use any of them because you will be eliminated from your society!!! :P
17.1.10
funny stories
Q: Why did the Chicken cross the road?
Anderson Consultant:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM) Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park like setting enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
Anderson Consultant:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM) Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Andersen consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park like setting enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
14.1.10
Dr.Patch Adams
Medical doctor; Clown; Performer; Social Activist; Founder and Director of the Gesundheit Institute, a holistic medical community that has provided free medical care to thousands of patients since it began in 1971; Author of Gesundheit! & House Calls; Moving Speaker
Patch is both a medical doctor and a clown, but he is also a social activist who has devoted 30 years to changing America's health care system, a system which he describes as expensive and elitist.
He believes that laughter, joy and creativity are an integral part of the healing process and therefore true health care must incorporate such life. Doctors and patients in his model relate to each other on the basis of mutual trust, and patients receive plenty of time from their doctors. Allopathic doctors and practitioners of alternative medicine will work side by side. If you think that all sounds like a utopian impossibility, it isn't. Patch and his colleagues practiced medicine at the Gesundheit Institute together in West Virgina that way for 12 years in what he calls their pilot project. They saw 15,000 patients. Patch Adams has devoted his life to the study of what makes people happy
Laughter is contagious??!!
Humor is infectious. The sound of roaring laughter is far more contagious than any cough, sniffle, or sneeze. When laughter is shared, it binds people together and increases happiness and intimacy. In addition to the domino effect of joy and amusement, laughter also triggers healthy physical changes in the body. Humor and laughter strengthen your immune system, boost your energy, diminish pain, and protect you from the damaging effects of stress. Best of all, this priceless medicine is fun, free, and easy to use.
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